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In the midst of all the pressure and stress of Xmas it can be difficult for us to remember the things that really matter to us at Xmas and the steps we can take to build more of them into the festive period. We simply need to remember that we are in control of our lives and can create the Xmas we want - we do not have to endure the commercialized and rushed version of Xmas that seems to be the modern norm! Below are some brief ideas on how we can get the Xmas we really want.

Showing generosity is also important to us at Xmas - but you dont need to buy people lots of stuff to do this! For example, we could be generous in the amount of time, effort, attention, affection or many other things we could give them. This could involve visiting someone, making a phone call, helping out with the chores, making gifts or many other things.

It may involve going out of your way to do an unselfish act for someone else, to admit a share of the blame for an argument (even when you feel you were right) or putting yourself in an awkward position for a moment in order to raise a sensitive issue. Challenge yourself to find the courage to do it where, in your heart of hearts, you think it is needed.Many of these steps to simplify and take control of our Xmases support another important point - the need to live sustainably. Xmas can be a time of enormous waste and environmental impact, and this is often driven by our thirst for more material goods and our supply systems importing food, gifts and other goods from around the world. By seeking a more meaningful and relaxed Xmas, we may find ourselves consuming less and living more sustainably - for example, by making presents, decorations and some Xmas food rather than buying imported products that have high Xmas miles.

Many people feel that Xmas has become over-commercialized and that we have lost sight of the things that make it special, such as spending time with friends, family and loved ones, celebrating, resting and showing compassion and generosity.

Xmas is traditionally a time when people are encouraged to think and act in a compassionate way. It is an ideal time to start carrying this thinking and behaviour into your day-to-day life on an ongoing basis. This can cover a range of behaviours - from showing forgiveness to helping someone in need. Acts of compassion and forgiveness can take bravery, but perhaps there could be opportunities for you to do them in your life - even in situations you previously thought impossible?